With Valentine's day literally two days away and love in the air, it's had me thinking about self-love and my journey to finally feeling confident in my own skin.
Self-love is the belief that you hold about your value and worth. Loving yourself is to not only accept yourself as you are but to appreciate those aspects of self. When you love yourself, you aim to take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally.
For years I was told that you can’t really love someone else until you love yourself first. The antidote of loving myself before I would meet a partner who I love. At the time I wanted to throat punch every person who told me that. Because it seemed like utter B.S. if you ask me.
I have a deeper understanding of the cliché response now. Self-love isn’t fleeting, it isn’t conjured with a makeover and retail therapy (though who doesn’t love a new outfit!). Self-love is not based on the conditions we place on oneself. “I’ll love myself when…” It is wholly unconditional, meaning that no matter what you do – you love yourself.
I realized was that in order to love someone I would need to get to know them on a deeper level. But how well did I know myself? And what was my relationship with myself?
This journey led me to dive into practices and modalities to heal the relationship I had with me. To me, self-love is meeting your own needs. My love language is quality time. So, I started spending time with myself. I don’t mean turning on Netflix and bingeing several episodes of Grey’s anatomy (though I sometimes do that too), I mean spending quiet hours alone or moments of moving my body in appreciation. Because self-love grows from actions of appreciation.
7 Tips for Generating Self-Love
Focus on Self-Care. When you practice good self-care you will love yourself even more. Nurture your self with nutritious foods, daily movement, quality sleep, and meaningful relationships.
Nip Negative Self-Talk in the Bud. How are you currently talking to yourself? I’m guessing that it’s not that kind. Would you talk to your child, your mother or your best friend that way? Probably not… So, can you reframe the thought to a kinder, gentler, more loving thought?
Take Yourself on a Date. Yep, you read that right! Get dressed up, go to a nice restaurant and enjoy your own company. The first time that I did this it was the most amazing date I had ever had. Turn’s out I’m pretty good company and so are you!
Forgive Yourself. You’re human. You’re bound to make mistakes. Forgive yourself and take it as a learning opportunity. If you’re struggling with this one I suggest sitting down and writing yourself a letter. (Trust me it works!)
Live with Intention. When you set the intention to feel good about yourself and your life you will. The opposite is also true… I know mind-blowing stuff! I recently started a morning practice of making voice recordings of my gratitude list, my daily desires and my future desires and then I text it to a friend. I encourage you to give it a try because it’s pretty remarkable!
Listen to episode no. 3 of the Nurture Me podcast - Manifesting Self-Love.
Download my Free Self-Love Workbook!